i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
