I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
