We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
