He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
