Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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