Me. At least after what I've been through.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
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