I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
