i don't plan on having that self control this summer
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
