I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
