dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
