yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
