The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just had sex on a roof
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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