So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Everyone says I win the strip club
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
