I love black thongs
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
