This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
