I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize