@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
