I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
