He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
