does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
they're like a gay fantastic four
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
