I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Randomize
