he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
