I wish i was in the wii world.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
