That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
