There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
