So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
