those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
