So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
