Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
