So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
