I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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