take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
