To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize