Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
