she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
