Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
