just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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