so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
