dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
