she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Apparently you make a good broom.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
