I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize