I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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