There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
