I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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