Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
