Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
