Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
