I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
