I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
