I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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