Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Your penis caused this!
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