I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
