dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
