Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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