operation harelip BJ is a go
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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