whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
