This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
