so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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