I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
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