I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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