Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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