went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
